On disappointment

Last November I had one of the most memorable experiences of my life:  I ran the New York City Marathon.  In my opinion, this is one of those "add it to your bucket list" races.  Every moment of this experience is something I will always remember:  from dinner in Times Square the night before the race, sleeping (or TRYING to sleep at least ;-)) in an amazing hotel, riding a ferry past the Statue of Liberty on the journey to the start, and running through the streets of the most electric and exciting cities on Earth, it was all surreal.  The best part of the entire experience, though, was participating as a member of Team Believe. 

Me with JB, a Team Believe teammate and dear friend

Anyone who knows me...or who has glanced at this little blog just once...likely knows of my passion for children with disabilities.  I work as a pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist and recently had the privilege of combining my love of running with my love for children with disabilities as a member of Team Believe.  This team was created in 2013 and consists of marathon runners striving to further the mission of Easter Seals while raising money and awareness for children with disabilities who receive therapy services through Easter Seals of Central Illinois.  Last year's team consisted of ten runners who each ran the New York City Marathon.

 

The primary focus of my training efforts last year was to get to the finish line of Ironman Wisconsin in September, which was to be my first full-140.6-mile triathlon.  In August I started experiencing some aches and pains in my right leg that resulted in backing off a bit on my run training for about a month leading up to the race.  It wasn't too big of a deal, since it was basically time to taper training down prior to the race anyway.  After successfully completing Ironman Wisconsin, I gave my body a much-needed break...for a bit anyway.  Two weeks afterwards I ran a half marathon in the Quad Cities with my sister. After that, I didn't run much again until mid-October when I ran a 5k benefiting my sister's workplace and got second overall female (out of a very small field I must add :-)).  I do recall my leg feeling less than "good" during that race and wondering in the back of my head if it was a bad idea to run that race "hard" with the NYC Marathon just a few weeks away.

 

Though I was definitely feeling less than 100%, I made it to the start line of the NYC Marathon.  More importantly, I made it to the finish line of that race.  I ran the first eight miles of the race with my good friend Jen and after that let her carry on while I dropped back.  My leg had started bothering me, but not enough to stop me.  Crossing the finish line in 4:14:31 was an amazing feeling.  However, mere walking after that was NOT so amazing.  It's interesting how my body held it together just long enough to get me to the finish line.  The walk back to my hotel was pretty terrible. Walking around the city the day after the race was also awful.



Somewhere around mile 7-8 in NYC!

The Tuesday after returning home I went to visit a friend who is a physical therapist who suggested after doing a few tests that it seemed like I was presenting with a stress fracture in my tibia (knowing of course that we couldn't know for certain without imaging).  He suggests that I slap on a walking boot for 6 weeks or so and I didn't object.  For much of the winter months, I took it easy.  I did a teeny bit of swimming and I rode my bike on the indoor trainer a fair amount.  But, I gave running a good long break.

 

This spring I decided to commit to being a part of Team Believe for a second year.  This year, my plan was to run the Chicago Marathon.  Easter Seals had secured 10 charity spots in the NYC Marathon again for this year, as well as 5 spots in Chicago.  Not only was I excited to run for my Easter Seals kiddos again, but I was excited on a personal level as this event would be five years after the date of my very first marathon (which also happened to be in Chicago!) and it would be my eleventh marathon. 

 

My run training this spring and summer had been inconsistent at best.  I had the same lingering, nagging pain in my right leg that just wouldn't quit.  It seemed to become particularly intense after I ran a mile race in June.  I tried to push the pain sensations to the back of my mind for a while and carried on running in July.  I ran 14 miles on the 4th of July with Clint (one of my favorite summer memories, actually).  We ran a short warmup prior to a 5-mile race in our town, ran the 5 miles back to our car, ate some breakfast with friends and then ran an additional 3+ miles out on some trails not far from home.  The following week, I ran the Dog Days 5k for the first time (and won my age group with a time of 23:10) on July 12 and later that night ran the 4 mile Moonlight Chase in Eldridge, Iowa with Clint and my sister.  My last "hoorah" was the 7-mile Bix in Davenport at the end of July.  I ran the Bix in 56:46, identical to my time last year (so weird!) and just 4 seconds slower than my PR set in 2010.  After the Bix, it became brutally evident that my leg pain was not going anywhere anytime soon.

 

Enter August:  I finally decided to schedule some physical therapy appointments to get things taken care of.  It appeared as if I was presenting with posterior tibial tendinitis.  I learned some exercises and was fairly diligent with carryover.  I did exercises at work in my office and did exercises at home.  I received some kind of painful astym therapy that resulted in some crazy big bruises all over my leg (yet *hopefully* did some good as well).  I learned some techniques for improving my less-than-ideal running form from my therapist and from Clint.  

 

All throughout, I had my heart set on still running Chicago in October. I had my Easter Seals support letters written and ready to send out at the end of August, the deadline I had set for myself regarding making the decision whether or not I would be running.  I had it in my head that even thought I missed lots of training and all-important long runs this summer, I would still be able to mentally power through the race since I "know what running a marathon is like."  A number of people close to me made me realize that this was not in my best interest and was an irrational thought pattern.  Sure, I could probably get though the race.  But at what cost to my already injured body?

 

Last week I made the very difficult decision to remove myself from the Chicago Marathon.  I can't fittingly put into words how disappointed I was (and still am) to have to do this.  Not only was it stepping back from something I really wanted to do because I truly love marathoning, but it was letting down a team and a cause I feel strongly about and had committed myself to.  This is all very hard to swallow.

I'd be lying if I said I have handled this situation completely graciously.  I have had a few selfish pity-parties, including a cry on the couch moment (thanks, Clint, for not rolling your eyes at my dramatics ;-)).  But, I know it's NOT and it SHOULDN'T be about me.  In the midst of being wrapped up with my injury and my own disappointment, I was losing sight of the whole reason I had set out to run this marathon in the first place:  for the kids.

 

Regardless of if I run another step in my entire life, these kids are running races....Every.  Single. Day.  

 

They're pressing on, taking those first steps and saying those first words.  Easter Seals exists to help children facing challenges and to help their families learn how to overcome these challenges.  I'm honored to be but a small part of this organization and to have the ability to help change lives through speech therapy services and through my involvement with Team Believe. 

This weekend I will be attending one of our fundraising events, The Grape Soirée, with this little cutie and his sweet family.  I'm excited to hear them share their story and to talk about his challenges and ultimately his inspirational triumphs against some pretty big and scary obstacles.  For him...and for all of the other children who receive services through Easter Seals...it's important to keep spreading the word and raising support so more families can get the help they need.

What's next for my running?  Well, I have an X-ray scheduled for Thursday to get a possible peek at what might be going on inside my leg.  Obviously my plan moving forward depends on what is unearthed (if anything!) then.  If it's a stress fracture (which I do believe in my heart it is...though I'm definitely no doctor!), I'll be rocking a boot here for the next month and a half or so.  After that, I'm determined to get stronger.  I've  started working on my running form with "Coach Clint" (my accomplished boyfriend who happens to know a thing or two about running).  However, if I have a stress fracture and have to wear a boot...it means that this run-form rehab work must go on hiatus for a while...and frankly it kind of scares me to start back at square one in a few months.  But I'm definitely going to give it my best shot.

 

I'm learning that there's a lot of happiness to be found wherever you are.  Disappointment can be a catalyst for joy if you allow it to be.  I'm choosing to be grateful...grateful for the families brought into my life through Easter Seals, grateful for my supportive friends and family and boyfriend, and grateful for each new day for a chance to try again.

 

If you were considering supporting my fundraising efforts for Easter Seals this fall, consider instead a donation in honor of my dear friend Jen.  Check out her fundraising page HERE.  Jen is running the NYC Marathon this November for the second year!  If you want to read more about the "chance" beginning to our friendship, read this post where I write about our first marathon together.  Jen is an amazing woman doing amazing things for the kids of Easter Seals and I am honored to call her my friend.

 

Thank you...for reading and for considering supporting Easter Seals.  

 

Go out and have an amazing day...in spite of whatever disappointments may come your way, there's always something wonderful to be grateful for.

~Rachel

Rev3 Cedar Point Recap

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending and participating in Rev3 Cedar Point for the first time...let me tell you, as usual, Rev3 did not disappoint. What a fun weekend and stellar event!

At the beginning of spring when I made a loose plan for my season (bearing in mind that my #1 goal for this season was to have fun and to have a more relaxed approach to training/racing after last summer's more structured experiences), I registered for the 70.3 (half Iron-distance) at Cedar Point. I had never before participated in this event...but had heard only good things. I thought a later-in-the-season long race was a good plan...and the date fell exactly one year after last year's big race (my first full-Iron distance race at Ironman Wisconsin) which I thought was cool. 

Well, in July it became clear that a nagging injury (pain in my right lower leg) was beyond the "just ignore it" phase and I went to get it looked at. Turns out, I'm presenting with posterior tibial tendinitis (Basically, the inside of my right shin area hurts a lot with any kind of impact). I started attending physical therapy sessions and stopped running altogether (my last "real" run was a short ~3 mile trail run Monday morning in early August).  

I changed my Cedar Point entry to the Half Aquabike division (1.2 mile swim and 56 mile bike), knowing there wasn't any way that I should try to gut it through a 13.1-mile run.  This was not a hard decision because I still had my heart set on running the Chicago Marathon in October and I wanted to preserve any glimmer of hope I had in finishing that event. 

A few weeks prior to the event, though, my Rev3 teammate Nicole sent out an email to all of us Rev3-ers asking if anyone was interested in joining her relay team as a biker since hers had backed out. I jumped at the opportunity...relays are a blast (and I may or may not have reallllly been slacking in the swimming department this season!). Nicole was the team's swimmer and another awesome Rev3 gal, Laura, was the runner.  Thanks for letting me join you, ladies!

So, Saturday morning I set out solo with my gear and my bike for Sandusky, Ohio.  The drive took about 6.5 hours from my home in Central IL which wasn't too bad at all. The weather was pleasant and the roads were clear...all in all not a bad solo road trip. When I'm driving long distances by myself, I despise stopping. So, I only stopped once...after about 4.5 hours of driving for some Starbucks and to pee (yeah...my bladder was close to explosion-status ;-)).

I got into town shortly after 6pm and stopped by the expo (which was being packed up/shut down by that point).  I chatted with some fun teammates for a bit, grabbed my packet/shirt from the registration area and headed off in search of my hotel not far from the expo. 

I stayed with teammate Eric and his awesome wife Christie in their hotel room...they were staying for a long weekend to enjoy all that the event had to offer. Christie had competed in the sprint distance tri held Saturday morning and had earned a spot on the podium!  So, over dinner in the hotel room, we chatted about her race and about the events to come the next day. Eric was registered for the full aquabike (2.4-mile swim and 112-mile bike)...and it was to be his first time biking more than I believe 80 miles!!

We went to bed fairly early (hooray for like-minded roomies who also appreciate an early bedtime, especially the night prior to a race). For some reason, I ended up getting more nervous than I thought I was/would be and had a little difficulty falling asleep. Before events with a long bike ride I tend to over analyze the situation and fixate on the possibility of crashing or having a mechanical issue.  I did my best to calm my mind and got at least a few hours of shut-eye. 

Sunday morning I woke up before my alarm around 4:45am and laid in silence thinking about the race for a bit before finally getting up and prepping for the race. Eric had gone down to the start already, so I got ready in what I hoped was a quiet manner so as not to further disturb Christie who was still sleeping.  Naturally, trying to be quiet resulted in being extra-clumsy and I dropped at least 3 items and was rather loud and obnoxious. Ugh. Sorry, Christie!! ;-)

I awkwardly made my way down to the parking lot, laden down with bags and trying to corral my bike as I walked (due to my late arrival I wasn't able to rack it the day before).  After getting things situated in/on my car, I set out to where I thought the race transition area was. I ended up driving onto the property of another hotel in the park and got yelled at by a security guard. Apparently that was some sort of "exclusive" area. Whoops!

I finally successfully found the transition/finish line area...only to get yelled at again. This time, it was by a police officer who said to me "you aren't leaving your car there right?" as I was working on getting my bike off of the car rack. I asked him what he was talking about (there were dozens of cars in the lot I was in) and he said race parking was, "way over there," pointing off in the distance (never mind the fact that there were precisely zero signs indicating this and the cars around where I was were definitely all there for the race too, bearing bike racks and race stickers).  After re-racking my bike on my car, I drove to an approved parking spot and began the gear-gathering process again. 

Racked and read in the wee hours of the morning!

I found our spot in the transition area, situated my things and put air in my tires. After a bit, I made my way down to the beach to watch the swim starts. 

I took this picture of the transition area/park from a distance race morning...

...And some random guy asked if I'd like him to take my picture.  Sure?  Why not?! ;)

As I walked down the beach, I watched the waves crash onto the shore of Lake Erie and breathed a big sigh of relief that I would not be swimming in THAT.  Frankly, it looked terribly intimidating.  I happened upon two dead, washed-up creatures during my short walk on the beach to the swim start...a bit menacing if you ask me!

Breakfast?!

Eek!

I spent some time sitting by myself watching the swim warm-up and thought about the race to come. Soon, I met up with some of my Rev3 teammates and we had a great time chatting, catching up and talking about the big race. 

Me with Ron and Nicole (my relay team's swimmer!); three of the four IL Rev3 teammates!

Rev3 teammate Pam and her husband Steve, ready to take on 140.6!

Soon, those doing the full (2.4-mile swim) were off!  I waited with my relay team's swimmer, Nicole, for a while prior to the 1.2-mile wave starts and then made my way to find a bathroom for the all-important pre-race ritual. 

I made my way back to the transition area and found Laura, our runner. She had been staying busy that morning, talking many athletes off of the ledge thanks to the terrible swimming conditions. Many people were getting pulled from the swim...and lots who didn't get pulled were getting sick from the waves. It was truly brutal!

Laura and I stationed ourselves along the wall between transition and the swim out to watch for Nicole coming out of the water and to cheer on the other hardy swimmers. 

Ready to go!

Poor Nicole looked dejected as she came out of the water...she, like everyone else out there, got tossed around and beat up by those darn waves. Frankly, I'm proud of her! She fought through a seriously crappy swim scenario and made it to the other side!  I was grateful it wasn't me in that water!  Nicole finished in 1:10:55. Though she verbalized wanting to be a bit faster, I'm truly proud that she FINISHED and persevered through a really challenging situation. 

After exiting the water, she hurried around to meet us in the transition area.  Laura grabbed the timing chip from her ankle and put it around mine. It was go time!

I had told the girls to look for me after around 3 hours and 15 minutes. Really, though, I was thinking in my own head that it could take me up to 3.5 hours. My best-ever time for a 56-mile bike was achieved last July at 70.3 Racine and was around 2:52. I knew I wasn't at that same level of fitness.  I also had been training somewhat sporadically over the summer. I had accomplished some long-ish rides, but nothing terribly regimented or consistent. In fact, Clint and I joked that I had kind of done a "reverse taper" leading up to this race:  the weekend prior (Labor Day weekend) I had completed 102 miles of cycling in 3 days (36, 43 and 23 mile rides).  I had heard that the course was relatively flat with only two small climbs, but that the wind from the lake could be an issue.  Truly, I had no idea what to expect from myself. 

After the first 30 minutes I noticed I had held pretty steady between 19-20 miles per hour. At that point I decided to make a goal of completing the 56 miles under three hours. As it turned out, this haphazard goal wasn't altogether unreasonable. 

The course was indeed relatively flat with some gentle rollers just to add a bit of variety. There was a climb around mile 22 that I had received a heads-up regarding, but it gave me no issues. I did see one unfortunate soul walking up the hill...that's certainly no fun and can be rather disheartening. 

I saw Christie cheering wildly ;-) a little before the halfway point. It's always a fun mental pick-up seeing a familiar friendly face in the midst of a race!

The course was pretty and scenic and is not what I would call challenging (especially compared to Rev3 Dells!!).  My ride was really without incident. I was able to hold on to a 19-20 mph pace for much of the race, with some slower paces put forth when there was a bit of a headwind to deal with. Unfortunately, my pace dropped quite a bit for the last 9 miles back to transition. The wind on the causeway (which had beautiful Lake Erie on both sides of it) was a bit too much for my tired legs. Had it not been the wind and my resulting letting-up, I would've finished under my goal of 3 hours.  However, I was very satisfied to roll into transition in a finishing time of 3:02:01 (avg pace of 18.46 mph).  This was a very solid finish for me, which made me feel confident in my performance...and hopeful for my potential when I am all healed up and decide to put forth some focused training efforts.

Laura was waiting for me in transition and quickly grabbed the chip from my shaky leg and set off. Before heading out, she mentioned that she had tweaked something in her foot and would pull out of the race if it gave her much trouble as she had a marathon coming up. I wished her luck, assured her that I would understand if she DNFed and waved her on her way. 

I gathered up my bike and gear and brought it all out to my car so that I'd be prepped and ready to head out on my long return trek once our relay was finished.  After sharing some Chipotle (THANKS Nicole!! :)) within an hour or so of Laura setting out, Nicole and I nervously checked her splits in the timing trailer...hopeful, for Laura's sake, that her foot was holding up.  We were excited to see that she was holding a sub-8 pace at both the 6.8 and 8.3 mile checkpoints. We made our way to the finishing chute and cheered the runners in while we waited. 

One of my favorite sights in the finishers' chute:

That's a SERIOUS, INTENSE beard!! I mean, isn't that like a heater on your face?! :-).  I love his enthusiasm!

Soon enough, Laura came blazing down toward the finish with a big smile. Nicole and I jumped onto the course and joined her for a big Rev3 finish!  I just love how Rev3 encourages families and friends (not just relays!) to finish together!

Laura finished her 13.1 mile run in 1:41:30 (pace of 7:45), a PR for her she told us!  Way to go, Laura!

Our total finishing time was 5:56:24.166. More important than the finishing time, though, is the fact that we had a great time and had some great personal accomplishments. Nicole muscled through and finished a challenging swim that many people were not able to complete. She told us that she wasn't sure that she would've finished had she not had two relay partners counting on her!  I rode 56 miles for only the third time this calendar year (once 56-mile ride each in May and June)...in one of my fastest times ever (and didn't have a much-feared mechanical issue!:-)).  And...Laura totally smoked the run with a PR!  Way to go, ladies!  I'm proud to know you and to have you as friends and teammates. 

Team Rev3-Lay!

I had an awesome weekend with some really fun and inspirational athletes. There were some really impressive displays of athleticism, perseverance and dedication all over in Cedar Point and I'm grateful to have had the experience of being but a small part of it all. It's been fun reading race recaps and checking out pictures on Facebook this week from others who completed the race!  I can't wait to see all of my Rev3 teammates again soon. 

This week after the race, one of my teammates passed on the following note of feedback regarding the Rev3 events at Cedar Point this weekend:

I just love this. It is a testiment to all that Rev3 is about and why I'm proud to be a part of this team that includes not just impressive athletes, but all-around upstanding individuals. Rev3 is about so much more than the sport of triathlon. It's about kindness, sportsmanship and about challenging yourself to be more and to do more in all aspects of life. And...clearly Rev3 is about some serious FUN as well!

Until the next adventure,

~Rachel