I'm pretty apprehensive about the appointment....I hope things don't seem too dire. I am sure they won't be....
I'm a sensationalist, I think ;). Tend to worry about the worst possible outcome and have really bad initial reactions to new news/bad news/etc. So....hopefully I am just worried and worked up about nothing.
In the weeks leading up to the marathon, I was literally sick to my stomach many days and actually had many nights where I didn't sleep much. I actually bought some over-the-counter sleeping pills! What in the world is wrong with me?! I am a freaking mess.
So, Mr. Doctor...I apologize in advance. You're going to be treating a psychotic loose cannon ;). Good luck with that one! I promise not to cry in your office.
Unless you tell me I'm done running forever, then I make no promises.
In the meantime, I need to woman up and make some other positive changes. I need to concentrate on healthy eating (I suck lately) and weight training. I have definitely fallen off BOTH of those wagons in a major way.
In the now-almost-two-years that I've been gluten free (medically necessary), I've made the big mistake of eating whatever I could that was gluten free. Oh wow, Grocery Store A has a new brand of yummy gluten free cookies!? Well, I HAVE to buy them and try them! Never mind the fact that I would seldom buy crap like that pre-diagnosis. I took NOT being able to eat many things that I loved as liberty to eat ANYTHING else that I COULD eat and WANTED to eat. I know I've even blogged about that before....but never made a change.
Changes....hm. I'm not the biggest fan of change. Maybe my kiddos with Autism/Asperger's are rubbing off on me ;). I like predictibility....having control...having constants. Speaking of which, we had a bomb dropped on us at work today that has the potential to shake things up there a bit. Naturally I had a bad (internal, thankfully! And, in my car...but solo!) reaction to this "news"...but the more I process it and begin to understand the reasons why I might be feeling the way I am....the more it begins to at least be a little more clear. A little. But that's a story for another time, and not the internet ;).
Anyway......tomorrow is a new day. I am getting my hair colored/cut after work. Maybe I need to do something drastic.
But wait, I hate change!
We'll see.
It could be time for something.....
