To be frank while hopefully not being overly dramatic, I've been worn out these past couple of weeks. The long training sessions have been extra-tiring and my body is feeling serious fatigue, aches and pains. Some days, it's been hard to convince myself to press on and complete target workouts. If nothing else, I've been learning how to keep my mind strong when my body is weak. A few times, though, it's been the other way around: when my mind has felt weak and vulnerable and near its breaking point...my body has stepped up and proved that the training IS working and that I am stronger than I usually think I am.
IM Wisconsin is two weeks away from this past Sunday. I now have just 10 training days before my A-race of this season. Long training rides and runs are a thing of the past (until after IM). Taper is the name of the game. These next 10 days are all about maintenance...healing...and keeping my head up and my heart strong.
This past Sunday I had planned to go out for a 15-20 mile run...what was to be my last long run prior to IM. My right Achilles has given me some moderate grief these past few weeks, so my coach advised me to take it easy and to listen to my body. I planned to run some large loops on the trail not far from my home and to keep water fountains and home not more than a few miles away. It was a HOT day, plus I truly did plan on heading home as soon as my ankle started giving me much pain.
I set out around 12:30 on my run. It was hot, but regardless it felt good to be out. Running is still my favorite part of IM training. My Achilles was a bit achey, but nothing too bad so I pressed onward.
When I reached 5.8 miles on my watch, I approached a crosswalk near the busier downtown area near where I live (near Uptown Normal...the Mulberry Street crossing on the Constitution Trail). I slowed and watched a white SUV make a left-hand turn and go in front of me on the road. The next car, a black SUV, pulled up to the stop sign and slowed but did not completely stop. I watched the driver look to her right (it is a one-way street, so all cars are coming from the drivers' right here)...during which time I made the error of crossing the street at a jog. She then began turning without ever even looking to her left...at me. She kept turning and I kept expecting her to see me and slow...she didn't. I tried to quickly run/jump out of the way but it was apparent the vehicle was going to make contact with some part of my body. I threw my arms out in front of me and leaned into the hood with my chest, jumping my legs out of the way. It made a really fun, dull noise as I smacked her hood. She continued moving! I spun to the side after she hit me and ran after her vehicle. I banged on her driver's side door and she rolled down the window, staring at me.
I began SCREAMING at the woman. I yelled, "you just hit me! You hit a pedestrian in a crosswalk!" She replied, "I'm sorry I didn't see you." I screamed back, "I know you didn't see me! You never even LOOKED!" She continued staring at me and said, "I'm sorry." Seeing two teen-looking boys in the vehicle, I yelled, "sorry doesn't fix things! What if you killed me?! What if you killed someone's daughter?!" She seemed stunned by this (and I was proud!) and replied, "I'm really sorry. I just didn't see you." I continued yelling at her and said, "well promise me you will LOOK from now on! Look in crosswalks! Don't you dare hit another runner! Because next time it could be far worse than this!" She didn't really say anything else, but rolled her window up and drove quickly away.
I was HOT. I can't remember the last time I was that mad....and honestly scared. Sure, nothing bad had happened...I hadn't been hurt. However, I couldn't stop my mind from traveling to the "what if's". What if she had injured me and I couldn't do my Ironman? What if she killed me...or someone else?
I sat in the grass against a parking garage and, scared and shaken up, cried. I was mad about my run being cut short and furious about the woman's lack of attention to pedestrians. I felt like I needed to continue my run so that I'd get in my planned long run with only two weeks to go til IM...but definitely didn't feel like running another step.
Thankfully, my friends Kelly and David came to my "rescue". Maybe I didn't really need rescuing...but maybe I did. Regardless, their presence cheered me up. Had they not appeared, I would've likely sat in the same place for an hour.
We ended up walking from where I was over to a festival going on in Uptown Normal and got some yummy sweet corn. Truth be told, I had been lamenting the fact that I didn't have time to go to the Sweet Corn and Blues festival...and fresh sweet corn had been sounding realllly good to me! It was delicious...and sitting there in hot, noisy center of town with good friends I felt myself slowly feeling much better.
That whole experience Sunday afternoon was a valuable one for me. It was a great reminder of the need to pay close attention to vehicles on the road (both when running and cycling!) and not to assume the drivers are paying attention to you. "Keep your head up" as far as keeping alertness high can be a good reminder to be mindful of your surroundings.
This whole "keeping-your-head-up" and "keeping-your-heart-strong" is tiring stuff. Really I am kind of looking forward to the day that my Ironman is behind me...so I can turn my brain/head off and my heart can rest. I love training and racing, truly I do. However, being able to lay mindlessly on the couch in front of the television sounds blissful right now. Keep your head up, Rachel...no time for that yet!
Ten days...just ten days til I tackle Ironman Wisconsin! Here's hoping I can keep Andy's mantra in my mind that day...keep your head up, keep your heart strong. I've trained, practiced and prepared both my mind and body...soon it will be time to put them to the test!
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