Thursday, June 25, 2009

Decision...It's time for some Big Confessions

I've decided that since this is MY blog (and I don't think that many people really read it anyway ;), which, quite frankly is the way I like it! ;))....I should:
1) write about anything and everything that I want to
2) be completely honest and not hold anything back
3) write about the really funny, really disgusting things that happen to me because: a) I CAN'T possibly be the only "runner" who has had such mishaps (can I?!) and b) because I crack myself up...and what's better than that?! ;) (I am a loser. Really. My husband should've been warned before tying the knot...)

For these reasons, I bring you: Rachel's Running-Related Bowel Mishaps, Vol. 1

I think it would be fair to take this time to give you some background information on my, err, bowel issues. Since approximately 2002 I have been plagued with some odd (??) GI issues that really run the gamut from one end of the spectrum to the other (let me spell this out for you....either I was all backed up and so bloated that my stomach actually looked as if it was gestating life inside....OR I had to run to the bathroom seconds after eating to unleash some terrible, terrible things). Long story short, last year it was determined that I have some form of gluten intolerance (whether it is actually Celiac Disease or something else is really up in the air, and at this point I'm fine with the limbo stage I'm in because, quite frankly, I feel great sans gluten and don't really have time to think about getting further tests, etc.) and have been officially GLUTEN FREE since October 18, 2008....check out my silly GF blog if you are interested in learning more about my adventures or the GF diet in general (I did my best not to plagiarize like Elizabeth Hasselbeck and cite sources to give credit where credit is due, etc. ;)).

Ok, so all of that being said...the point is, I do not have a "normal" digestive system. So, my "problems" are not my fault. Except for maybe the fact that I have been known to eat a Taco Bell Bean Burrito before running 5 miles on a hot afternoon. Maybe I was asking for it then. But that's neither here, nor now.

Ok, I bring you Exibit 1:

Last summer my husband and I were "training" for the Bix 7, a 7-mile race (hence the name!) in the Quad Cities that is held the last weekend in July each summer. It was to be my 5th Bix and his 4th. I am, in general, a stronger runner than my husband (I run year-round while he tends to just run February or March through October or so; he chooses to do primarily weight training in the colder months....but he's starting to get better at doing some indoor cardio during those colder months).

It was a Friday in the summer, and I was working in Peoria. Fridays tended to be busy days for me; I liked working through my lunch break in order to leave for home an hour or so earlier and thus getting back to Bloomington (where we live) earlier and starting my weekend ASAP. So, I tended to skip eating lunch if I was too rushed in the morning and didn't take time to pack a lunch. Clearly not a good idea. SO, on this particular Friday I decided to stop at Taco Bell (uh...) and pick up a Bean Burrito on my way home, since I was STARVING...and they were "on special" for like 79 cents on Fridays at this certain Taco Bell by my workplace. I devoured said burrito while driving and then when I got home, embarked on a 6-or-so mile run with Jer (this was over an hour after eating the burrito...so I didn't imagine that there would be any issues. I was wrong.). Well, about 1.5 miles from home, I began to feel some rumblings in my stomach. I chose to ignore them, and pressed on. A half a mile or so after that, there was no denying what was going on. I had to go...and I had to go IMMEDIATELY. I informed Jeremy of this and he suggested that I turn around and run back toward home, as there was a Porta Potty in a park on the way home. This sounded like a swell idea, so I turned around and began running 2 or so miles back home by myself...about .25 of a mile later, IT happened. I crapped my pants. And it didn't stop. Seriously. So, here I was...nearly 2 miles from home and about a half a mile from the Porta Potty and I was running with a serious load in my pants (I was wearing black loose-fitting capri-length pants, so at least I had that working in my favor)....

To be Continued...

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