BIX....

Five days, 13 hours, 47 minutes, 21 seconds...and counting! Here it comes, ready or not!

(and, sources say it's going to be one of the HOTTEST Bix races in history! UGH!!!)

Life, we know, is full of choices. Good choices, bad choices. Easy choices, hard choices. Choices that affect only ourselves, and choices that affect others in ways we can't even imagine. I made a tough (for me) choice lately...and have caught a bit of flak about it. So, I felt like writing...to get it off my chest.

You see...

We love the Bix 7...

It definitely holds a special place in our "hearts."

Yeah, that's pretty nerdy (even for me!). Nope, I am not ashamed to admit it :).

I ran the Bix 7 (a seven-mile race through the streets of Davenport, Iowa; held on a Saturday toward the end of July each summer) for the very first time in July of 2004. I've run it every summer since...which means this year's Bix will be my seventh! That first summer, I ran the Bixwith my little sister, Megan (to whom I owe my love of running...and my obsession with it :)).

2003 was the summer of my first races (if you really care, I wrote about my "running beginnings" in a blog post here)...a 4 miler and a 5k, both of which were run with my little sister (Megan, who ran cross country in high school and undergrad)....and then 2004 was the year of my first Bix.

Anyway...

The following year...2005...Jeremy joined me! This requires some explanation....

We had been going through a rocky time together that year (backing up a bit, we started dating in January of 2002, when he was a sophomore at Augustana and I was a first-year). Not to go into too much detail, but we broke up in January of 2005. This was the January of my senior year of undergrad (he had graduated a year ahead of me and was in "the working world" here inBloomington)...a stressful time in my life as I was just starting to hear back from graduate schools about acceptance/rejection, etc. We broke up for a variety of reasons, and the subsequent months were not pretty...not for either of us (in the way of our friendship/relationship and in the way of other choices the two of us made during that time period).

Well, in about March Jeremy decided he was going to start running.

I won't sugar coat this...and neither would he....Jeremy hates running.

***OK...at least he says he does ;). He runs up to nine miles at a time now, so I don't think he can truly still hate running. But that's a story for another time, perhaps ;). ***

However, back in March of 2005...he really did hate running. On his first run, he reportedly could barely finish a mile. So, why did he decide to start running? For me, he told me. He got it in his mind that he was going to run the Bix in July that summer, because he knew how much I loved that race...and how much of a part of my life running was starting to become. He wanted to show me that he could do something...for me.

So he trained, starting with that first painful mile.

He got up early before work some mornings. He ran after work some evenings. He ran in the heat some days. He ran, pushing through each mile...an expression of love. An expression of love, as strange as it may sound, to me.

Soon it wasn't just one mile he was struggling to complete...but it was two. Then, three, four...and, well, obviously you get the picture.

He ran, though he didn't know what the future held.

He ran, though we were both "seeing" other people.

He kept running...pushing through the physical and mental pain. Ran in spite of the uncertainties of life in general and the uncertainties of our relationship. Ran...though he didn't really even quite know WHY he was doing it, or IF it would be worth it.

In the meantime, two hours north, I was running. Running, because it kept me sane. Running, because it was one of the few things in my life I could "control." Running, because I needed a "constant" in my life. Running, because I didn't know what the future held, yet I had this unshakable feeling that it would help me get there somehow.

I may have "loved" running more than Jeremy, but that doesn't mean it was easy. I pushed through excuses, mental exhaustion, and physical pain. Ran in spite of the many distractions of college life. It was that spring, the spring of 2005, when I really started to make a cognizant commitment to running....and have never looked back.

And on a Saturday in late July...we ran our first Bix together. The start of a tradition that will go on for years and years for our family.

***In June of 2004, about 6 weeks before our big race, we did get back together :)***

Now don't be fooled....

If you know us, you know that Jeremy and I are NOT the sappy lovey-dovey type. We are both content to, in general, "do our own thing"...we have our own hobbies and interests as well as joint interests. We have our own groups of friends, as well as joint friends. We bicker at one another more than we probably should. We do, though, love and respect one another immensely. I say all of these things to illustrate the point that we don't have a bunch of silly/meaningless "traditions." We have a few "big" things a year that we do together (besides celebrating our birthdays and anniversary, of course)....seeing Handel's Messiah at Augustana in December each year and running the Bix each summer.

AND, we don't even really run together! Our pace and strategy is much different. Jeremy tends to go out harder than I do, thanks to all of that testosterone, I tease him. I start a bit more conservatively and build speed as I go (negative splits). In most races, I typically pass him after a while and end up finishing before him. We wait together in the start corrals, but split up shortly after the gun goes off. It just works best that way :). Otherwise one of us is annoyed with the other...etc., etc. BUT, we start together...and we meet up at the end and commiserate together. Complain about the heat, the hills, the humidity, a sore knee. Lament our slower-than-we-would've-liked time. Whatever it may be. Weexperience something special...together. (ok, ok...if any of you non-runners are reading this, I am well aware that this sounds completely loony and bonkers!)

So, this spring when an Easter Seals fundraiser...Walk With Me....was announced as having the same date, I was crushed! Torn. I am very committed to my workplace, so I thought I should probably sign up and attend the event. However, when I told Jeremy about it, he seemed very surprised that I would even consider doing anything else on that date. In his mind, it was out of the question. He even told me that he would still be going to the Quad Cities to run the Bixwithout me if I chose to go to the fundraising event.

So, I chose the Bix. But....that's not really it. I chose Jeremy. I chose our relationship, our marriage, our friendship. I'd say it is empowering to finally choose MY personal life over work, but I still feel guilty. I wish I could be there....I really wish the dates were different. I love my co-workers, and love the kids and families I work with. It truly SUCKS to not be able to be there with them on what is sure to be a very special and fun day.

But, I think I made the right choice.

I mean...he runs for me, remember?

Five days, 13 hours, 3 minutes, 34 seconds to go....

...and did I mention my goal??? I am shooting for an 8-minute/mile pace....56:00 minutes :). We'll see how the heat plays into that plan!!!